Moby Wrap Giveaway on Baby Bunching!

Seems like I have lots of friends with new babies and you guys gotta get one of these - the Moby Wrap. We're giving one away over at Baby Bunching - drop by and comment before Sunday 11/23 to enter to win one!

Cara's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It actually started the night before when I had to rush Josh to urgent care for a bacterial skin infection. That's when you know a bad day is going to be a doozy - it starts before the sun even comes up.

It started off okay with yet another school tour for Cade while we try to figure out where in the hell is is going to go to kindergarten since our assigned public school "Leaves Every Child Behind", as Aaron puts it. Can I just say I am OVER the Atlanta private school application process.

Leaving the school tour and processing my findings with a friend while driving, I almost had a head-on collision with a landscaping truck. Totally my fault, but still, did the little man with the swiveling stop sign have to be SO nasty about it?

Still processing the school tour as I arrive in the parking lot of my doctor's office (my THIRD visit to said office in 24 hours due to various children's medical issues), I somehow lost part of my hearing aid in the parking lot. Not good. Deaf as a post without the hearing aid. Day quickly takes a nosedive.

Enter doctor's office and endure gynecological prodding. Nope - day definitely not improving. On top of that, learn that I have gained SIX POUNDS since my last doctor's visit just two months ago. God definitely kicking me while I am down today.

Leave doctor's office. So distraught over lost hearing aid and weight gain that I decide to hell with it, with a butt this big, what's another 2 pounds. Drive through and get a Chick-Fil-A milkshake for lunch.

Arrive at school to pick up oldest child. Don't want him to see the milkshake because I haven't had a drink to myself in 4 years and don't feel like sharing, so I put it in the cupholder in the driver's side door.

Upon arriving home, pick up the milkshake only to have the top fall off. Milkshake is running down my pant leg and my entire shoe is filled with milkshake. Cade notices milkshake and says, "What's that, Mommy?" Damn. On the bright side, I've spilled one pound of my two pound lunch.

Walk in the door where baby has been fussing for babysitter all morning. Feed baby and he promptly pukes AND poops all over me.

Strip down and throw pukey/poopy clothes in washing machine. Decide that since babysitter is here and all three children are occupied, a hot bath is just the ticket for turning this day around.

Nope. Not so much. Used all the hot water to start the pukey/poopy laundry. Take quick ice bath and throw on fresh clothes.

Moving on to the next part of this glorious day - taking the two older boys to the dentist. What was I thinking to schedule the gynecologist and the dentist on the same day? Fortunately, dentist appointment goes swimmingly and in a shocking turn of events, boys are on their best behavior and have no cavities. Only problem - the dentist's office reeks of vomit.

Oh wait - that's my hair, courtesy of Baby Josh.

Fast forward several hours - attend birthday party for girlfriends with November birthdays. Knock back 2 glasses of wine and three beers. With each drink, my bowling skills get progressively more laser focused and I end up winning the pot. An hour before it's over, this day is FINALLY starting to turn around....

I'm It!

Crap! I was tagged by Del Pico De Gallo. Several weeks ago now. Not that I don't appreciate the link love (cuz I do, Elizabeth - thank you!!!), but I had a hard time finding time to string two coherent thoughts together and write something to pass the love on. Wiggy Baby's constant fussiness has pretty much zapped both my brain and my sense of humor lately (although he IS so precious I could just eat him up), but I'll give it a shot since Del Pico De Gallo is a dedicated Baby Bunching reader and I owe it to her, really.

To play tag, I've got to mention six things that haven't been revealed on this blog and then tag six other bloggers. So here goes...

1. This is probably the first time I've ever been virtually tagged for something that I've actually bothered to tag someone else. Seriously, if you send me those lame Getting to Know You/Send a Recipe/Sign Your Name to the Petition/Forward to 10 Friends and Microsoft Will Donate $10/Mother Theresa Prayer Chain/etc./etc. I do not ever forward them. It's not because I don't love you (or want to pray for you, or donate to your cause, or support your political efforts), I just don't have time to read them, more less forward them. So, thanks, Del Pico De Gallo, for helping me lose my tagging virginity!
2. I have a serious addiction to volunteering. If you are a non-profit, a school, or a city task force of some sort and you ask me to do something, I will almost always say yes. I will almost certainly say yes if it involves a leadership position that allows me to A) organize social events or B) boss people around.
   
3. I have really bad life management skills. Partially due to item #2 in this post, partially due to the fact that I am always running late because I manage my time poorly, and partially due to genetics (my mom shares many of my same foibles listed below). When I send you a birthday card or present, it will always be late. I will always say I am going to call you, and then actually DO so 2 weeks later. My to-do list is never done and half the time it isn't even organized. I always have ten closets that need to be cleaned out and 15 bags of stuff that I have already cleaned out but just haven't gotten to Goodwill yet. If anything involves the US Post Office, it will take me two weeks longer than it would have otherwise. I have the best of intentions, just can't ever seem to get it all to come together at once...
4. I check my email obsessively, but get so much that I can't even respond to it. I always think I am going to come back to it, but once it drops off "today's emails", it gets lost and I won't.
5. I think roaches are absolutely sickening. When I spot one I will shriek hysterically like a girl and stand on a chair until my husband comes and kills it and takes it away. But I am okay with other bugs - spiders, ants, etc.
   
6. I love having all boys. In fact, I prefer it. People always assume I want a girl, but there is only room for one princess in this house and it is me. I am definitely a Girly Girl, but I am secretly grateful not to have to deal with Little Girly Girl things like hair barrettes, tights, missing Barbie accessories, excessive crying over minor bodily injuries, and catty cliquey fights (which yes, start in preschool!).

Now I will tag six people that will either love me for linking them or hate me for adding to their to-do list. A couple of them also have new babies, so probably the latter. Monkey Business, Mom Without a Map, Mommy Needs a Time Out, Stimeyland, A Bushel and a Peck, and Profoundly Seth.

Am I A White Trash Mom?

Today I'm participating in a SV Moms/Deep South Moms book club for the book The White Trash Mom Handbook. Basically, author and fellow Deep South Mom blogger Michelle Lamar uses this term to denote not socio-economic status or class, but a frame of mind and philosophy of motherhood. Meaning, if you're not a Perfect Mom, you're a White Trash Mom. Lamar offers strategies for coming to terms with your inner White Trash, including how to fake it for the school bake sale, getting the most "bang for your buck" when choosing school volunteering activities, a housecleaning guide for WTM's, and tips for dealing with "The Muffia" (i.e. the poser moms that want you to think they are perfect moms, only they aren't because there is no such thing).

But the topic that resonated the most with me is the chapter on "Your Children Will Be In Therapy...Get Used To It", specifically the section dealing with Momisms - things we say to our kids. This chapter recalls many old favorites that we heard from our own mothers, including the bits about:

• Cut it out right now or you will have to clean up your own blood when you break your head open
• No one is touching ANYONE in this house EVER again
• If you know what's good for you, you won't.....
• I am on my last nerve!
• You ruined this nice_______for your sister. I hope you're happy.
• And the infamous If I Have To Stop This Car One More Time....

This waltz down memory lane caused me to add a few to the list that I have found myself shouting to my kids in recent years...

• Get down here right now before I get to the count of three!
• Get your thumb out of your mouth.
• You're old enough to put your own shoes on.
• Hurry up! We're late!
• No, you may not have (fill in the blank junk food). You need to make healthy choices about the foods you put in your body.
• I AM ON THE PHONE! Go upstairs and I will call you when I am done!
• And the always infuriating (to kids) - "Because I am the mom and I said so!"
  

Here are a few uttered in recent months that I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would find myself saying in this lifetime:

• Do NOT touch your brother's penis - that is private to him!
• Don't you talk to me about Dustbusters ONE MORE TIME until you put your peepee in the potty! (Nope, not a typo - my oldest's potty training incentive was a Dustbuster, no joke).
• Butt is a potty word. If you want to say butt, you need to go in the bathroom. (Child retreats to bathroom, where I can hear him jumping up and down and saying, "butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt" repeatedly".)
  
• Listen, if your brother bit you and you bit him, then you're even Steven. Both of you, stop crying!
• If you sit still until we're done with Mommy's appointment, I will let you take a picture with my cell phone.
  
• If you wake up your brother, I will beat you!

Yep, I think it's safe to say that I'm in touch with my inner White Trash Mom. Anybody else with me on this?

"Is this really my life?"

If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself the question in the title of this post, I would be a rich, rich woman.

The latest antic to cause me to ask this question is a story witnessed by Aaron:

Yesterday he was watching all three boys while I was at a school open house for Cade for next year. He left all three downstairs (mistake number one) and ran upstairs briefly to get something. When he left, the boys were watching TV and the baby was lying on his baby gym.

When he came back, the baby was lying on the baby gym (now collapsed) with his one-piece outfit ripped open (it buttoned down the front) and Cade was hooked up to my breast pump.

Seriously, guys? Not even the breast pump is sacred!??!?

A Blessing and Curse

Busy week in the Fox household - we've been struck with a double round of the flu AND pinkeye! We are so contagious that I'm considering erecting one of those giant termite fumigation tents around our house. I'm now on lockdown with all three children for the second straight day in a row and yesterday was especially awesome because Aaron worked until 11 pm!

The reason I haven't jumped off the roof yet is because Baby Josh appears to be settling into a sleep schedule. Who knew that if you stayed home, followed your baby's natural sleep cycles, and put him in his own bed, he would sleep!?

Cross your fingers for me that it sticks.

Not much posting going on here lately, but you can read about Drew's antics on Deep South Moms today.

Middle Child Syndrome Starts Here

Lest you think I am the worst mom on the planet, I'd like to preface this by saying that life is pretty crazy right now. Josh is (still) screaming 23 hours a day, although he's doing better since we had his reflux medication adjusted (again) last week. This past week was Halloween and then on Sunday, we had Josh baptized. It was a beautiful day and we were so fortunate to have many out of town family members and friends join us for the weekend. But all of that to say, I've had a hard time staying on top of things lately. As evidenced by the following story:

Last night, Aaron came down from giving the big boys a bath and accused Drew of smelling like a homeless person. Appalled, I pressed him for further details and he absolutely INSISTED that Drew smelled like BO and urine when he got him undressed to dump him in the tub. Aaron asked me when the last time was that Drew had a bath and we started reconstructing the events of the past week. Come to find out Drew did, in fact, smell like a homeless person because for one reason or another, he had not had a bath in OVER A WEEK. Yep, that's right. The other boys had been bathed multiple times throughout the week, but not Drew. Poor kid. Since he is pretty easygoing and sandwiched in the middle, I have a feeling this will be the first of many, "Has anyone fed/bathed/played with/even SEEN Drew?" stories.