Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cara's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It actually started the night before when I had to rush Josh to urgent care for a bacterial skin infection. That's when you know a bad day is going to be a doozy - it starts before the sun even comes up.

It started off okay with yet another school tour for Cade while we try to figure out where in the hell is is going to go to kindergarten since our assigned public school "Leaves Every Child Behind", as Aaron puts it. Can I just say I am OVER the Atlanta private school application process.

Leaving the school tour and processing my findings with a friend while driving, I almost had a head-on collision with a landscaping truck. Totally my fault, but still, did the little man with the swiveling stop sign have to be SO nasty about it?

Still processing the school tour as I arrive in the parking lot of my doctor's office (my THIRD visit to said office in 24 hours due to various children's medical issues), I somehow lost part of my hearing aid in the parking lot. Not good. Deaf as a post without the hearing aid. Day quickly takes a nosedive.

Enter doctor's office and endure gynecological prodding. Nope - day definitely not improving. On top of that, learn that I have gained SIX POUNDS since my last doctor's visit just two months ago. God definitely kicking me while I am down today.

Leave doctor's office. So distraught over lost hearing aid and weight gain that I decide to hell with it, with a butt this big, what's another 2 pounds. Drive through and get a Chick-Fil-A milkshake for lunch.

Arrive at school to pick up oldest child. Don't want him to see the milkshake because I haven't had a drink to myself in 4 years and don't feel like sharing, so I put it in the cupholder in the driver's side door.

Upon arriving home, pick up the milkshake only to have the top fall off. Milkshake is running down my pant leg and my entire shoe is filled with milkshake. Cade notices milkshake and says, "What's that, Mommy?" Damn. On the bright side, I've spilled one pound of my two pound lunch.

Walk in the door where baby has been fussing for babysitter all morning. Feed baby and he promptly pukes AND poops all over me.

Strip down and throw pukey/poopy clothes in washing machine. Decide that since babysitter is here and all three children are occupied, a hot bath is just the ticket for turning this day around.

Nope. Not so much. Used all the hot water to start the pukey/poopy laundry. Take quick ice bath and throw on fresh clothes.

Moving on to the next part of this glorious day - taking the two older boys to the dentist. What was I thinking to schedule the gynecologist and the dentist on the same day? Fortunately, dentist appointment goes swimmingly and in a shocking turn of events, boys are on their best behavior and have no cavities. Only problem - the dentist's office reeks of vomit.

Oh wait - that's my hair, courtesy of Baby Josh.

Fast forward several hours - attend birthday party for girlfriends with November birthdays. Knock back 2 glasses of wine and three beers. With each drink, my bowling skills get progressively more laser focused and I end up winning the pot. An hour before it's over, this day is FINALLY starting to turn around....

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