Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Already? But I'm Not Ready!

I've done a good bit of whining about Josh's constant fussing and his inability to sleep for long stretches. The good news is that he's finally starting to outgrow that. The bad news: he's also starting to outgrow me.

For the past few months, his "off switch" when it's time for sleep is to snuggle up on my shoulder with a pacifier and Lamby, his soft, plush lamb blanket. But within the past week or so, he has decided that he no longer needs my assistance going to sleep and, in fact, prefers to do it on his own. His Lamby alliances have switched to Paul, a little blanket with a frog head (like a smaller cousin of Lovey) that was given to him by his godmother. Paci has been replaced by his thumb. This is awesome now but will suck (haha)when I have three kids who are finger/thumb suckers in braces because you can throw away the paci, but you can't cut off the thumb.

More than any of the other boys (probably because I know he is my last), I have savored the quiet time that Josh and I have before each nap and bedtime when I shoo the other boys out of the room, crank up the white noise machine, and rock my sweet baby to sleep.

But of late, he'll only snuggle for a very few seconds, but then arch away and can't seem to get comfortable or settled enough to sleep. What he wants is for me to love on him for a very few minutes and then put him in the crib so he can settle himself to sleep.

Most moms (including me, up until a few days ago) would do anything for self-sufficient sleeper like this. So why I am so bummed? Because my big baby starts kindergarten in the fall, my middle baby is all set to play soccer this spring, and my small baby doesn't want to snuggle with me anymore. I'm not ready for this.

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