Friday, November 2, 2007

When It Rains, It Pours

Logging on today after a long absence from the computer and a very rough week. My computer gave me the blue screen of death on Sunday and it has taken all week to get everything fixed up and back to normal. But I can honestly say that my week was not off to the greatest start even before then. On Saturday, I wasn't sure which was worse - that my clothes dryer ate a squirrel (yes, you read that correctly) or that my oldest son kicked me headfirst kicking and screaming into the world of sex ed.

It all started when my dryer just conked out. We called the repair man, who came and diagnosed a broken motor. Until he took off the back of the dryer to install it and found that a squirrel had crawled in through the vents and been hacked to death by the fans on the dryer. Nice.

On the bright side, it had happened fairly recently so at least the broken dryer spared us from having to discover this extremely retarded situation when we started smelling decomposing squirrel. AND it turns out that a few broken fans are a lot cheaper to replace than a motor. Best $100 I ever spent to spare myself from digging squirrel bits out of my dryer. Good Lord.

On to part two of this crappy day.

Of late, Cade has been afflicted by a major penis fascination. He seizes any opportunity to run around in his underwear so he can have easy access in case he gets an itch. He makes sure to inform us that he has to push "The Guy" down EVERY TIME he goes to the potty to make sure the peepee goes in the pot instead of spraying the bathroom. And after bath, he will run up and down the hall naked grabbing his crotch and screaming "I touch my penis!", inspiring his little brother to follow suit in a nightly Penis Jamboree.

As the lone female in a house full of males, I refuse to be intimidated by The Guy. I keep my cool. I repeat the instructions that while it's fine to touch The Guy, we need to go to the privacy of our own room to do it. I pride myself on my Non Reaction, since to date, this behavior has been strictly the get a rise out of me.

Until today, when Cade informed us (with hands in pants) - "Uh oh! My penis is getting bigger!"

Um. Dad - this one's for you. I've got a dead squirrel to deal with.

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